BREAKING THEM BAD

Words by: DUNCAN QUINN
Photographs courtesy of: Y.CO

“If it flies, floats or f*!ks, rent it, don’t buy it,” said Tommy Earl Bruner in Dan Jenkins’ novel, Baja Oklahoma (1981).

Sage advice perhaps. If you are Scrooge McDuck.

On the other hand, if you’re of a slightly more hedonistic bent seeking to execute the bucket list you’ve see online (and add a few to boot) you’ll be wanting a Wally.

Forget all that crap about the two happiest days of a man’s life (day he buys boat, day he sells boat…). And just feast your eyes on this beauty.

Sublime in proportion, outrageous in execution, and perfection in motion, offloading several pallets of Benjamins on one will free you up for some fun.

And not just any old fun.

Even if you are the type who requires sea bands and a handful of dramamine you’d be hard pressed to convince me you’re not sold. And by the way, rum punch, ‘quinn & tonik’ or a dirty martini are probably just as good for your sea legs as those pills.

To any aesthete a Wally is a piece of art. The fact that you can frolic in one off the beach of your favorite watering hole in the SoF, Carib, Indian Ocean or other haunt of choice is merely an aside to the pleasures of looking at her.

Of course you want to take her out to ride the waves and battle the winds. And you must. For as with all dazzling beauties she’ll quickly tire of you if all you do is gawp without challenging her through her paces.

And so with this in mind, I found myself standing on the quay in Nice, France, as the tender blasted into view with my pal Ben Bartlett aboard. Ready to whisk me off to MC to indulge in some Wally love on the Hamilton. Great expectations are never a good thing to have. But sometimes even great expectations can be fulfilled…

Words by DUNCAN QUINN